The tragic death of a brother whom I never knew

I'm sharing this story from the Lancashire Telegraph because this is not just a tragic article about some poor guy getting accidentally hit by a passing lorry in a random part of the world. Not to me it isn't.  I'm sharing this because this guy has a connection with me. To you, he is a statistic. But to me he is a whole lot more. He has a history; he has a past. Sadly his present has been cut short and he will have no future. I don't know this man. I have never met him. And yet I feel a great sense of kinship and connection with him because we have a common past. He was never named in any of the news articles I found pertaining to this road traffic accident. He will forever be an unknown, anonymous fatality to those who have read this article. But I am now going to put an identity to this person and honour him with my own eulogy. 

His name is Thomas Henry Friday, born Thomas Medenhall. He is my long lost half brother. Thomas had already been put into care by the time I was born. I was the baby boy to whom my mum had given birth, to replace her Thomas. It's almost as if I was there as a new family pet who had been bought to replace the previous one that had died. I was referred to as Peter Thomas, if what I have been told is correct. My mother seemed desperate for children, even though she was not able to look after them and would spend what little money she had on cigarettes and booze rather than on her children's basic needs such as food and clothing.

Thomas was a very different person to me. He was a lot more physically fit and muscular. He worked for a time as a lifeguard in Rhyl, and lived in Kinmel bay near Towyn. Unfortunately, he had a lot of mental health problems. He had no one to turn to and no one who would listen to him other than his dad, Gerry Friday. And his dad, being an older generation Liverpudlian and likely not too clued up on the impact which Thomas' childhood psychological trauma had had on his son's mental health, may well have told him to just pull himself together and act like a man. I will never know if that is the case, and it's not my business to be casting aspersions on people who are no longer alive to defend themselves. Thomas had been in and out of mental institutions throughout his later years. His last known whereabouts was the mental hospital known as Kemple View. It was a stone's throw away from the busy A59 (Longsight Road) in Langho in the Blackburn area. Thomas had tried already tried numerous times to kill himself. One afternoon on Sunday the 29th December 2019, sometime between 1:30pm and 2:00pm, he finally succeeded. While he was still in the presence of a support worker and without warning, he stepped out into the busy road and into the path of an oncoming lorry. He never stood a chance.

Yes, this is not any tragic accident. My brother felt for whatever reason, that he could not go on with his life. He chose to end it in the blink of an eye. He deliberately chose to end his life. At the time, he was 48 years old, not 49 years as reported in the press. Reading his sad demise gives me the great determination to face my demons from the past and to banish them. I do not want to end up as an unknown road fatality statistic in a newspaper. Because of the many friends who have supported me on my journey and shown how much they care, Gregg, my own half sister, Susan, work colleagues and my adoptive family, I choose to go on living. I will fight my demons until they are gone. I will learn somehow how to connect with my younger self, hold his hand, hug him and tell him that he is a survivor. One day that young me will find healing. Just not today. Rest in peace dear brother Thomas (14th June 1971 - 29th December 2019. One day, I hope to be able to place a flower on your final resting place.